I would argue that, yes, friendships require much more work then romantic relationships. Think about it, we all have groups of friends from different stages of life. I have my friends that I grew up with, those I met in college, and then a third group from this past year in graduate/medical school. These three groups do not even include those friends that I met studying abroad. So I have friends, literally, all over the world. I’ll admit, sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own life that I will go months without speaking to one of my best friends.
My mom brought this issue to my attention a couple of months ago when she started questioning me about what so and so was doing, how they like their job, if they are still in that relationship, etc, etc. I realized that I did not have the answers to all of these questions, which was embarrassing because these were some of my closest friends! Ever since, I have made a conscious effort to stay in touch and do whatever I can to see my friends when possible (those times are few and far between these days). What happened to the days where birthdays were worthy of a phone call? Now it seems that a text message or facebook post is sufficient. I have to agree with all of those people out there who say that social media and texting is ruining our ability to communicate. It is simply not as personal, and no one can argue with that. I admit that I am guilty of taking advantage of the ease of technology on more then one occasion. I have decided that I am going to make a conscious effort to call each of my friends on their birthdays, because it is often the little things that make all the difference.
Romantic relationships are always challenging yet for some reason, I find them easier to maintain then friendships. I have been in a relationship for nearly four years, and it has been long distance for the past year and a half. But no matter what, my boyfriend and I speak on the phone multiple times per day, and we each make the effort to see one another as often as possible despite the distance. So why is it that I call my boyfriend to update him on every detail of my life and to learn about his, yet it seems to be so difficult to call up a close friend every so often to do the same?
Ask anyone and they will say that relationships require nourishment and attention, but I always assumed that was just the romantic kind. I took for granted that friendships were easy. I always knew that when I came home from college on breaks that my high school friends would be there, and that when I was living with my best college friends, that I would see them daily. Now that we are all in different places, some in school, some with jobs, it is not as easy to keep in touch.
Friendships may require life-long effort, but I know for a fact that every second is worth it. Both of my grandmothers (in their late seventies) get together with friends from high school even to this day. I see the joy that it brings them and the memories they are able to share.
Do you agree the friendships are more difficult to maintain then romantic relationships? Please do not hesitate to share your thoughts! After reading this post, I hope you will call a friend that you may not have spoken to in awhile.